Angela’s Story
I married the love of my life on a hot summer day in July 2010. After one blissful year of marriage we decided to start trying for our first baby. I could not wait to become pregnant and to be a mom. After a stressful year of trying with no success I went to see my doctor for some testing. They found a tiny harmless looking polyp in my uterus. My Dr. told me that usually they wouldn’t bother taking it out but because I wasn’t getting pregnant and they didn’t see any other issues they did a quick polypectomy and told me I would probably get pregnant soon after. A week later I was called in and told that it was actually a sarcoma. It was a tumor. I wasn’t growing a baby in my uterus like I had been so desperately trying to for a year….. I was growing a tumor. I was diagnosed at 31 years old with endometrial cancer and was told I had to have my uterus removed and the only way I could have a child was by surrogate. To say we were devastated was an understatement. I was young and healthy, there was no family history of this cancer and what were the odds of getting cancer in the same place you were trying to grow a baby! 3 months later I had surgery to remove my cervix and uterus, but I was able to keep my ovaries which I was very grateful for. I had Stage 1 Grade A cancer and I didn’t have to have chemo or radiation. I was extremely grateful for that, but on the other hand, my dreams of having a family were shattered and I felt incredibly alone and isolated. All of our friends and lots of my family were having babies left and right. While they were all going to their ultrasound appointments to see their growing babies, I was going to the cancer center on a regular basis for checkups to make sure my cancer wasn’t growing.
The next phase of my journey landed us on the path to surrogacy. We were incredibly blessed to have a friend that offered out of the blue to be our gestational carrier. We spent the next year going through 3 IVF’s with transfers to her uterus. The first try was unsuccessful. The 2nd and 3rd attempts she got pregnant, but both of those ended in devastating miscarriages. I fell into a deep, depressing hole after that last miscarriage. I isolated myself from friends and families and did everything I could to avoid pregnant women or friends with young kids. I decided at one point though that life was way too short and I had to enjoy each day that I was given — whether or not we had children. I was blessed in so many ways and had survived cancer. I reached out to a local therapist for talk therapy and found a support group in my area, The art of Infertility, where I met some really strong and amazing women. Reading other peoples stories on Livestrong also helped me feel like I was not alone.
After a year of getting myself out of my depression, and focusing on building a new house with my husband, we slowly started the adoption process. It was months of background checks, referrals, home studies and classes. Finally, we were approved and officially a family in waiting for a domestic infant adoption. It was terrifying and exciting all at the same time. After 9 long months of waiting, I got an email with a birth mom’s profile that would be looking at our profile. Her name in the email was just listed as the letter A. And it said she was having a baby girl that was due in July. I quickly called my husband and told him that this birth mom was going to pick us I JUST KNEW IT. Every cell in my body knew that this was our baby, and even though I knew this birth mom was going to be looking at a ton of profiles I KNEW she was going to pick us. You see, my husband and I got married in July. Our puppy that we got right after my diagnosis was born in July. I was diagnosed with cancer and told that I could not have my own child in July. And this baby girl was due to be born in July. I also told my husband that I bet the birth mom’s name is Angela (my name is Angela as well). My husband told me not to get my hopes up. 2 1/2 weeks later we got the call. She chose us. Oh, and the birth mom’s name was Angela.
Fast forward 2 years and we just celebrated Alyssa’s second birthday. She is the most beautiful and amazing little human being I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. There is not a day that has gone by that I haven’t looked at her in awe that she is actually here in our lives when we prayed and waited for her for so long. She is literally what dreams are made of. I also just celebrated my 6th year of being cancer free. In the beginning, I felt like my life was over. I felt like cancer took everything away from me. But I would not be who I am today, nor would I be the proud mom to Alyssa if I hadn’t gotten through the hard parts. My journey lead me to her.
Angela’s Story was originally published in Livestrong Voices on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.