A Survivor Story: Tori Tomalia
I am Tori, a 38-year-old mother of three, and I have metastatic lung cancer.Continue reading on Livestrong Voices »
Read BlogPriorities are things in your life that are important to you. These can change over time, especially when you face a serious illness such as cancer.
For those with cancer, priorities can include family, friends, health, career, health insurance, happiness, spirituality and advocacy. Understanding why priorities change and how you can communicate your priorities to others can help you feel more confident.
Your priorities guide your attention and energy as you organize your daily, weekly or monthly schedule. Your most important goals become your top priorities. Knowing what your priorities are and whether they have changed can help you decide how to live your life to the fullest during and after cancer.
Talk with a licensed counselor or therapist if changes in your priorities overwhelm you emotionally or if you are having trouble communicating these changes to others.
Some find that their priorities change after a cancer diagnosis because they begin to view life differently. But priorities can change at any time. Some experience changes during treatment. Others begin to notice changes after treatment. It is also possible that your priorities may not change until years after your diagnosis and treatment.
If your priorities do not change, you may be able to continue living life just as you did before you were diagnosed. However, if your priorities do change, understanding why or how this may affect your life after a cancer diagnosis is important.
Support groups provide a safe environment to share experiences with other survivors, learn new ways to handle difficult situations and talk about emotions. You will see different styles of coping with stress and adjusting to life as a cancer survivor. If you are uncomfortable talking about certain subjects with your family or friends, a support group offers you a place to talk freely about what is important to you. To find a support group in your area:
Cancer can cause you to change your priorities for many reasons, both emotional and physical. Here are some reasons why your priories might change:
Sometimes, the people in your life may not understand or accept your new priorities. It may take them a while to get used to the changes, especially if the changes directly affect your relationship with them.
Values change, and sometimes these changes can positively influence your life. However, they can also cause a lot of stress and confusion.
Talking with others about your priorities may not have been part of your life before cancer. However, after cancer, it may become important to share current opinions about what is now important. It may be challenging to find the best way to talk about new priorities, especially when you are not certain how others will react.
In certain cases, changes in priorities might cause you to end friendships with people you felt close to before your diagnosis. This can be hard, but many survivors experience this. Real friends will understand that your priorities have changed and will find the best ways to spend time with you. Just continue doing the things you enjoy. You may start making new friends who accept you for who you are now.
Fobair, P. "Cancer Support Groups and Group Therapies: Part II. Process, Organizational, Leadership and Patient Issues." J Psychosocial Oncology 15(3/4)(1997): 123-47.